How to Deal with Mean People

This blog is all about positivity. We are all happy people here and like attracts like. Still, there comes a time in every young woman’s life when she realizes that there are people out there who are just one step away from raining on our parades.

I was reminded of this over the weekend when an old friend introduced me to a girl that he’s been seeing recently. Quite simply, and for no reason at all, she was incorrigible. Everything I said elicited a retaliatory remark, the dressy yet conservative outfit I was wearing was too seductive for her taste, and I was even accused (in front of the entire party, no less) of dating her new man. Nice though he is, the friend was just a friend.

We can’t help that there are people like this in the world, no more than we can avoid bad luck or heavy traffic. The way we are measured though is the grace and civility with which we react to such situations.

Instead of listening to Taylor Swift’s Top 20 hit “Mean” on repeat, which believe me, I’ve done, try these tips which should at least afford our classy and fabulous selves to adequately deal with these impossible persons.

  1. It’s Not Your Fault – Mean people are just mean. What helps is knowing that it truly isn’t about you. Most likely, it’s an insecurity which causes the person to blow a normal situation out of proportion in order to divert attention away from them. It’s a defense tactic where the person overcompensates for what they see as a personality flaw. If he or she acts this way to you, they probably do it to everyone. Don’t take it personally.
  2. Protect Yourself – Mean people have a way of getting to us because their day job is making their business finding out our own insecurities and using them to hurt us. Their jabs hurt because they are intentional and specific. Use your self-esteem and confidence to be conscious of what they are doing and to put yourself at ease. Don’t let them break you!
  3. Rise Above It – We all know that phrase, “Be the better man.” Employing the tactic seems cowardly and inefficient when dealing with bullies, but with a mean person, it’s almost effective every time. If you aren’t defensive, avoid anger, and give nothing away, you win. You will walk away feeling better knowing that you are the superior person. He or she will walk away smug, but honestly feeling like a piece of crap.

Remember: good always triumphs over evil. We may find that being nice is not the fastest route to get somewhere but we emerge from the other side with a good reputation and resilience. What could be more fabulous than that?

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